If I ask you to personify self doubt, how do you imagine it?
I think self doubt is a friend who genuinely cares for you but ends up doing more harm than good.
They are worried about you all the time.
They’d say things like:
“Do you think you can do it? What if you fail? Is it worth it?
What if others don’t like you?”
Self doubt isn’t cruel. It’s just scared.
It’s trying to protect you from experiencing rejection, disappointment, and failure.
Your friend isn’t realizing that this is keeping you from growing.
Self doubt may not know that failing and falling, rejections and disappointments are equally necessary to become confident.
And being confident helps you be successful.
If you have been stuck and playing safe all the time due to lack of confidence, it’s time to rewrite your story.
In this post, I’ll show you how to believe in yourself even when doubt still shows up — because you don’t have to eliminate self doubt to move forward.
Common Triggers of Self Doubt
1. Comparison
Social media makes you feel that everyone is living a better life. Only you are the one who is not achieving your goals or struggling in life.
You start doubting your abilities, life choices, and what not.
You want to make your life better. But you don’t believe in yourself.
Fear of judgment, failure, and disappointing yourself keeps you from trying or committing to anything.
2. Past failures
Your past failures flash before your eyes every time you try to do something.
“Will I make a mess this time just like before?” — this thought creeps into your mind.
You need to have a good relationship with failures.
Because once you see them as heroes rather than villains of your life, they can be the best teachers that help you become successful.
3. Fear of judgment
What will people think? What will they say? Will they appreciate or make fun of it?
These thoughts make you doubtful of yourself.
Remember other people’s opinions and judgments aren’t your burden.
Every famous artist has been judged and criticized.
4. Discomfort
When you do something new, you will have to step out of the comfort zone.
You don’t believe that you can handle the uncertainty or discomfort.
So, you avoid doing those things that can help you grow.
How to Believe in Yourself
1. Notice self doubt without judgment
You need to acknowledge the existence of self doubt before turning it around.
If you refuse to believe that self doubt is the reason why you aren’t confident or moving forward in life, it’s nearly impossible to fix it.
Accepting this is challenging. Nobody wants to embrace their shortcomings.
You need to notice whenever self doubt creeps in. Instead of judging it or refusing to see it, embrace it without judgment.
Doubting yourself is a feeling. It’s not the truth. And it’s not your reality.
Learn to separate yourself from the feeling.
2. Find the fear underneath
There is a reason why you are not believing in yourself.
The common triggers mentioned in the previous section are some of the reasons for self-doubt.
Are you scared of wasting time, failing, embarrassing yourself, judgment?
Naming the fear reduces its power.
Also, once you know the root cause, it’s easier to fix it.
3. Gather proof of your strength
Look back on the times you’ve succeeded.
When you did hard things, survived difficult times.
People who don’t believe in themselves downplay their past successes.
“I just got lucky.” “It just happened.” “I didn’t do much.”
It’s common to not own up to one’s success because you don’t see yourself as someone who can achieve anything.
When you gather proof, it becomes the evidence that helps beat excuses.
4. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend
What would you tell a friend who doesn’t believe in herself?
Would you call her incapable or useless?
Show yourself the same compassion and love as you would show your friend.
Give yourself the same support.
Be your own best friend.
5. Take tiny, imperfect actions
Perfectionism ruins many things.
It’s the roadblock to creativity, achieving goals, and self-confidence too.
You know why?
When your brain cannot accept anything less than perfect, you don’t even try.
And this stops you from trying. You are scared of disappointing yourself because the standards are too high.
The only solution to this is taking tiny, imperfect actions.
Not drastic ones that feel like torture.
And don’t wait to feel ready. Because that’s never going to happen.
So start small.
These are some of the things you can do:
- If you are scared of placing an order in a café, try to order only a drink. Keep it simple.
- If you are scared of giving a presentation, start by practicing in front of a mirror or a friend or family member.
Give yourself permission to mess it up. The first step is never perfect.
6. Borrow confidence from somewhere else
It’s not just you who struggles with self-belief.
Lots and lots of other people have gone through this – even the ones who seem effortlessly confident.
Read about such people.
Watch podcasts and TED Talks of people who have overcome self doubt.
Try to learn more about how to believe in yourself.
Sometimes when a car doesn’t start it needs a little push.
Just like that, these sources can be the push that you need to start believing in yourself.
7. Celebrate your wins
So you took an imperfect step. You are going to celebrate this like you won an Oscar or Nobel Prize.
Doesn’t matter if the result is good or bad.
The fact that you took the first step is worthy enough to be celebrated.
These small steps are how your identity shifts. You start seeing yourself as a confident person who believes in herself.
A person who believes that I can do it.
Every step you take reduces the distance between your present self and future self.
8. Fall in love with failure
Inevitably, you are going to fail.
And that’s not bad because it’s a part of the process.
If you see failure as a big mistake, you are going to be in the clutches of self-doubt forever.
When you see it as a part of growth, accept it and embrace it, believing in yourself becomes easier.
Don’t use failure to cement your identity as a person who doubts herself.
Something is better than nothing. Failure is better than not trying.
So fall in love with failure. And thank failure for showing you what to do better next time.
Conclusion
You don’t become a person who believes in herself by erasing self doubt.
You doubt yourself and act anyway.
Take those first messy steps. Fail and repeat.
Slowly you will evolve into a person who believes in herself blindly and lives her life confidently.
You will be the sassy girl who is on fire.
You might also like:
➡️How to Become Self Accountable – 5 Easy Steps
➡️30 Day Self Confidence Challenge to Become a Bolder You
➡️How To Fall In Love With Yourself Again – 15 Powerful Ways
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