Life is the most ruthless teacher. It will keep on trying to teach you a lesson till you learn it.
And it teaches you in the most unexpected ways.
Not only through big events, but through long seasons of exhaustion, quiet heartbreaks and years when everything keeps falling apart.
The life lessons that I am sharing through this post is what I have learned from my season of struggle.
In a span of one year, I had family health crisis — twice, moved houses, survived a toxic job, friends became distant. I, myself, was hospitalized. I struggled to achieve something simple like getting a driver’s license.
These life lessons are born out of exhaustion, grief and being in survival mode that nobody warns about.
Here are the life lessons that I learned the hard way.
Maybe you’ll see pieces of yourself in this.
1. Grief doesn’t need a tragedy. Sometimes it comes from losing your routine, friends, versions of yourself.
I always thought grief is something that was experienced when you lose a loved one.
Adulthood introduced me to a new kind of grief, that isn’t talked about enough.
Grief of lost time, dreams that didn’t materialize into reality, of friendships that lost its charm, of being trapped in a hamster wheel of a 9 to 5 job, of being forced to trade peace of soul for security and stability. Grief of being misunderstood, of being silenced, of being taken for granted. Grief of what could have been, of being lost, of feeling lonely even though surrounded by people. Grief of not being able to share this grief with others.
These aren’t tragedies. But realities of life.
This is also grief. And it hurts as much as losing a loved one or losing your home.
Sometimes we don’t know that this is grief. Because nobody talks about it.
If this is the shade of life that is coloring this chapter of your story, embrace it.
Don’t fight it or feel angry or sad about it.
A color palette becomes beautiful because it’s a mixture of different colors. Just like that, your life becomes beautiful too when it is colored in different shades of emotions.
So, don’t despise or hate grief.
Thank grief for adding a shade of color to your life.
2. When life forces you into survival mode, even small tasks feel impossible. This isn’t weakness, it’s exhaustion
When life throws problems after problems at you, survival mode gets activated.
You will not have energy to do the things you used to enjoy.
Even small tasks feel like moving mountains.
So, if you are currently in this phase of life, please don’t think you are weak.
I tried to fight this exhaustion, shamed myself for not being strong enough to do the things that matter.
It’s after months that I realized that this isn’t weakness, it’s exhaustion.
Trying to fight it or shaming yourself only makes it worse.
When you are low on energy maybe all you can do in a day is to take deep breaths. And that is completely ok.
Not every day is going to be perfect or optimal.
You are going to have bad days and worst days.
And it’s okay to be exhausted.
3. Tears doesn’t always come from sadness. Sometimes it’s your body’s response to stress
The sudden tears that come without any warning, that is not the sign of weakness.
It’s your body releasing the pressure the only way it could.
You aren’t too weak or emotional.
It’s a way your nervous system found to calm you down.
Your tears kept you functioning.
4. Your body always knows the truth before your mind accepts it
The sudden unexplained tears, the exhaustion, the irritability, sudden bursts of anger, unable to sleep soundly — these are your body’s way of saying that you’re not doing ok.
These are signs that you need to fix your situation and take care of yourself.
The signs are subtle at first. It’s like someone is whispering in your ears.
When you don’t listen, your body starts screaming so that you take notice.
It is important that you recognize these signs as early as possible before you spiral down.
5. Doing 10%, 20%, or 30% on a hard day is still a win
Life doesn’t always go according to plan.
Not all days are equal.
When your energy is down maybe due to a bad day or health crisis, you can’t expect to give your 100% as you would have done on normal days.
So what should you do?
Crawl, slither — do anything other than staying stagnant.
These teeny tiny steps feel like nothing. But they do add up.
You will be in motion. That is extremely important.
I failed to understand this. On days when I was low on energy I just gave up on doing things.
When your world keeps crumbling around you in waves, one crisis after another, giving your 100% is not possible.
It took me years to understand this.
Writing one paragraph of a blog post felt insufficient.
Pinning one pin to Pinterest felt useless.
Reading a page of a book felt like I failed.
There were days when I could write a blog post in a day, pin 10 pins to Pinterest or read for 30 minutes.
What I failed to see was that those were the days when I was in a good mood, feeling charged and ready to seize the day.
Not all days are like that.
Some days, your best is 10%.
Some weeks, your best is waking up and going through your day without having a breakdown.
And that’s ok.
This doesn’t mean you have failed.
It simply means you are human.
So the new metric is — did you do anything today? If the answer is yes, you didn’t fail.
Remember, that small efforts keep your dream from dying, keep the habit alive.
You don’t need to do everything all the time.
You need to do something.
6. It doesn’t matter how many friends you have, you need to be your own best friend
Sometimes the only person who can understand you or pull you out of a mess is you.
It’s not that your friends aren’t enough or they became bad people. Or your loved ones aren’t supportive enough.
It’s because you are the one living your life.
It’s because you are the one who has to keep showing up at a toxic workplace because bills don’t pay itself. And it is so hard to get a job in this economy and not to mention AI.
It’s you who have to fight to just survive.
It’s you who need to keep your dreams stay alive. Somehow.
So you need to learn to show yourself compassion. Talk to yourself as you would to your best friend.
Learn to protect your energy. Break down, shatter into pieces, hold yourself together. Only to be broken again.
You need to be comfortable with your losses, failures, grief.
Learn to embrace them and be gentle with yourself.
Being your own best friend and able to enjoy your own company is a superpower.
7. Delayed dreams are not dead dreams
All of us make plans for life. It is with the expectation that optimal conditions will exist in future for the fulfillment of the plan.
When life keeps throwing curve balls at you, sometimes you will need to take a few steps back. From your dreams, goals and plans.
It is important to address the present situation. Focus on survival. On adjusting with the new realities of life.
You might be running low on energy.
So, naturally you might have to delay your dreams.
Because they aren’t happening by the timeline you had decided doesn’t mean it’s a failure. Because others are able to do it before you also doesn’t mean you’ve failed.
Delayed dreams are not dead dreams.
Delayed dreams don’t mean that you give up on them.
When the conditions are bleak, you do everything in your power to keep your dreams alive.
This includes doing the bare minimum.
When you have survived, adjusted to the new reality, you can work on them as much as you used to do before.
Because your pace of working on your dreams and goals slowed down doesn’t mean you have lost in life.
8. The one who keeps going even when they are breaking are also strong
What picture comes to your mind when thinking of a strong person?
The one who is standing firm, calmly even in the middle of the storm. Composed, strong. Isn’t it?
At least that’s how I was thinking of being strong.
I have come to realize that being strong is more than this.
It’s being messy, shaky, overwhelmed, irritated and STILL MOVING.
Trying to do your best possible even when tears are streaming down your eyes, just like a dam broken open.
If you are taking baby steps, barely moving but not stagnant in one place, doing the bare minimum to keep your dreams alive — you are strong.
The world might not be able to see your strength. But you should realize this.
Because it is not seen or celebrated doesn’t mean you aren’t strong.
Just like every superhero has her own powers, being strong means different to different people.
9. Rest is your superpower
We don’t give enough importance to taking rest.
Somehow resting feels like a step towards failure.
Hustle. Juggle. Push through even when you are tired and low on energy.
Your whole world might be collapsing. You might have slowed down because of this.
So resting means slowing down even more. And that isn’t what you want right?
Wrong.
Taking enough rest is important for survival.
It doesn’t mean you are slacking off.
You are slowing down to replenish lost energy so that you can survive and do more than that.
You need to learn to honor your body and mind, listen to the signs it gives and do the necessary so that you can do justice to yourself.
Slowing down is the fastest way to be back on track.
Related Post:
➡️Looking for some easy ways to take care of yourself? Here are 60 simple self care ideas for your overall well being.
➡️Struggling to keep up with self care? Here is How to Finally Build a Self Care Routine That Feels Like You.
10. Your energy levels are not your enemy. They’re your compass
We are taught to work despite our energy level, not with them.
When your life has been a storm for months or years, this mindset breaks you.
This is the foundation for breakdowns, burnout, anger, guilt, frustration, irritation.
You need to learn to work with your energy levels.
This creates consistency, peace and long-term progress.
To make this happen you need to understand the importance of point 5 and 9.
This mindset shift is important to help you become a person who honors her energy level.
Bad days don’t ruin your life. The way you handle them matters.
Ignoring your energy levels and trying to work like a robot is what will ruin you.
Some seasons are about survival.
Some seasons are about crawling or taking baby steps.
Some seasons are for growth.
All seasons are important.
It’s important that you accept and respect the current season of your life and move forward with it. Not against it.
Conclusion
If you are living your own version of chaos, I hope these life lessons can help you steer through this phase.
I want you to remember that survival isn’t failure.
It’s the best strategy at the times of crisis.
You are not failing. You are not behind.
As long as you keep going gently, slowly, honestly and imperfectly nothing can stop you.
The power of compounding and staying in motion will unfold.
It’s just a matter of time.
And that time period is different for different people.
I hope these life lessons have helped in bringing you calm and comfort.
You might also like:
➡️ 10 Signs You Are on the Right Path (Even If You’re Not Feeling It)
➡️ 10 Real Reasons You’re Not Reaching Your Goals (And How to Fix It)
➡️ How to Choose Goals You’ll Actually Achieve (and Enjoy)
➡️ How to Finally Stay Consistent (Even If You’ve Failed 100 Times Before)
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