Have you ever set goals only to loose interest and eventually abandoning them?
All of us have experienced this.
The problem isn’t lack of discipline.
Often, you might choose a goals because it is trending on social media or due to societal pressure, not because it matters to you.
Wrong goals sucks out your energy and becomes emotionally taxing.
Whereas right goals motivates you. It aligns with your lifestyle and doesn’t feel like a task that you need to complete.
Everyone is so invested in setting SMART goals. But if the goal is the wrong one to begin with, then its a mistake.
Read on to find out how to choose the right goals in 5 steps.
Common Mistakes People Make When Choosing Goals
1. Choosing goals based on what other’s are doing
If you chose a goal because every one is doing or is the new trend on social media, you are setting yourself up for failure. Chances are that after the initial bout of energy, you will be done with it.
Why?
Because it doesn’t align with your values, principles, life circumstances, energy level.
The goal isn’t an extension of you. You have no connection with it. So, its not going to survive.
2.Temporary motivation
This is commonly seen on New Year’s eve. Or on 1st of January.
A wave of motivation hits you. Suddenly you are feel ready to change the world and yourself.
You make many goals and try to achieve them altogether.
If these goals sees the light of next month, that’s a miracle in itself.
Newfound motivation has a short life span.
Soon, the goals will wither away because of lack of a system to sustain its life.
3.Unrealistic expectations
When the bout of motivation kicks in, all of us starts imaging ourselves to be a super hero. It feels ike we can achieve multiple goals, all at the same time.
That’s why we se too many big goals and try to achieve them all at once.
The confidence level is on point – even though the wrong goals re chosen, trying to do all of them at once with no system to making this work, you believe 100% that you can do it all.
Unrealistic expectations doesn’t have a good ending in life.
4.Vague goals
‘I want to get fit’ , ‘I want to save money’, “I want to be financially stable’.
All of these goals lack direction and clarity.
How do u want to get fit? What does get fit mean? By when do you want to get fit?
These are not goals, just vague statements that does no good.
5.External validation
Many end of choosing goals for external validation. Just for getting praises from others. Or so taht they respect you for making this goal in life.
Society values some goals. They give them more recognitiona nd importance.
Everyone likes to be a part of the crowd. To be accepted. To be validated by others.
It amkes us feel included.
But choosing goals solely for this purpose will eat you from the inside.
Even if you have achieved your goals and gain the external validation that you were desperately seeking, you will still fell void inside. Because these goals were never yours, it was others.
5 Steps to Finally Choosing the Right Goals for You
1.Know your values and principles first
Values and principles – that’s the foundation, the North Star.
Many people skip this step and directly goes to setting goals.
Wrong.
Your values act as internal GPS. It keeps you grounded.
It defines what truly matters to you. They reflect the core beliefs that bring meaning to your life, whether that’s freedom, creativity, loyalty, peace, or growth.
Then come your principles—your personal code of conduct. While values are what you stand for, principles are how you live them out. They guide your choices, your habits, your boundaries. They’re like your inner compass in motion.
You risk setting the wrong goals, if it isn’t a reflection of your values and principles.
So don’t fall into the urgency trap of setting goals.
Take time to know yourself first. This will help to define your inner compass.
Related Post:
➡️How to Discover Your Personal Values and Principles
➡️How to Create a Clear, Honest Life Vision in 4 Simple Steps
2.Define Your Why
With a strong reason, a goal will seize to exist.
Your why makes the goals personal. You will have a stronger connection to the goal.
Try to tie it back to your values.
Example: My goal is to start a side hustle because I enjoy and value creativity.
My goal is to cut down on sugar to because I value health
You are not starting a side hustle because everyone on the internet is running behind it.
The goal becomes an extension of your values which can be achieved with strong principles.
This is the importance of defining your why.
3.Make It Clear and Specific
Let’s say your goal is to start a side hustle.
Make it more specific by deciding which platform you would be focusing on. Again think why are you choosing this platform.
The more personal and specific your goals, the more likely it is to be a success.
4.Check for Alignment
Does the chosen goal align with your current lifestyle, priorities and energy levels?
I am sure you have heard of morning pages. Its very popular on the internet.
If you have one hour commute to work or college and is pressed for time in the morning, writing in morning pages might not be the best goal to pursue.
Yes, it has a lot of benefits. But if your chosen goal doesn’t naturally compliment your lifestyle, then it starts to become a burden.
Morning pages takes anywhere between 20 – 30 minutes to be completed.
Is it possible to do this when you don’t have the luxury of time in the morning?
So, choose your goals accordingly.
If journaling is what you want to do, in this scenario, try 5 minutes journaling or 10 minutes brain dump.
This is what it means to choose goals that align with your current life scenario.
5.Test It
Before you go in full commitment mode, take your goals on a test drive.
Try doing your chose goals for 2 weeks.
Are you enjoying the process? Is pursuing goals draining you or exciting you?
An outfit might look good. But when you try it on you realise that it doesn’t compliment your body.
Similarly, a goal might feel like beneficial to you, but it might turn out the oppsoite.
Test your goals before you decide to zero in on it.
Choosing Less, Not More
More ≠ Productive
There is nothing fancy about having 10 different goals, all scattered across different areas of your life.
You will end up not even achieving one of them.
So, less is more.
Choose between one to three goals, and work on them.
Conclusion
Goals should help you grow and not make you feel miserable.
That is why it is important to choose the right goals.
I hope this blog post has helped to pick goals that are perfect for you, not because it is trending on the internet.
You might also like:
➡️10 Real Reasons You’re Not Reaching Your Goals (And How to Fix It)
➡️5 Simple Rules to Help You Begin Your Self Development Journey
➡️How to Finally Stay Consistent (Even If You’ve Failed 100 Times Before)
Leave a Reply